Month: April 2021
Outcome IV:
At the beginning of the semester, I noticed how much I would focus on the little things such as grammar, etc. Although these little adjustments may be important, they are not as beneficial as suggesting other things. I became more involved in proposing how to improve upon an idea, so that the actual paper itself can become better. A lot of the time people wouldn’t get their own ideas out there, so I began to suggest how they may include their own. Organization was a harder thing to help people with because I, myself struggle with it.
Outcome V:
The difference between my signal phrases at the beginning of the semester vs. the end is significant. In the end, I can see how much I improved in my last writing project. I switch them up by integrating the quotes, using various signal phrases, and other things. I also became more aware of my MLA citations. I didn’t realize how they worked until the end when the in-text part became much easier.
Outcome VI:
My grammar has considerably improved as I didn’t completely understand how to use a semicolon and other things. I feel like I’m starting to understand grammar more and how things work, and where to put a comma or other things.
- Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).
- Be able to integrate their ideas with those of others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources.
- Employ techniques of active reading, critical reading, and informal reading response for inquiry, learning, and thinking.
- Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.
- Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA).
- Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling).
2. Draft:
Final:
3. Good Peer Comments
4.
Outcome 1: I noticed that the most significant changes made in my work were within Barclay’s formula paragraphs. Mostly changing the evidence, it seemed accurate to add more to each quote I had. The descriptions then added much more to the work. This was suggested by my peers in my second paper.
Outcome 2: At first, writing about my own thoughts was unnatural. I could see the improvements within myself really being able to position myself in a text and allowing my ideas to flow freely. This really was noticeable in my second major paper this semester. I would make sure to include my position in every place I got.
Outcome 3: My understanding in this short 5 pages of Coates writing is shown often. I like to show my understanding by pondering over whatever is written and will say that through writing. I do like to question the texts, but not as someone may think. I take a different approach where I question the people who would deny the truth behind the text. I improved with making relationships over the semester and in these annotations I did so by relating the amount of siblings Clyde Ross had. When it comes to challenging the text, I did so by asking the simple question of how much a horse would’ve been worth for a white person.
Draft:Even if black people are seeing more of a growth mindset towards situations, this does not discount what needs to be done. Lukianoff and Haidt acknowledge a term called vindictive protectiveness, which means “The ultimate aim, it seems, is to turn campuses into “safe spaces” where young adults are shielded from words and ideas that make some uncomfortable. And more than the last, this movement seeks to punish anyone who interferes with that aim, even accidentally.” This term can be applied to the many people who are refusing the history of America and the history of black people in this country. The straight-up denial of this country is horrifying and can be correlated to what Coates says – “An America that looks away is ignoring not just the sins of the past but the sins of the present and the certain sins of the future. More important than any single check cut to any African American, the payment of reparations would represent America’s maturation out of the childhood myth of its innocence into a wisdom worthy of its founders. (Coates)” The protection of the congress members’ insecurities in America of losing their insane amounts of privilege by becoming a more equal country is stopping the reparations from transpiring. The ones who are getting the punishment, are the ones who need the reparations. Like vindictive protectiveness says, the people who are not following and shielding truths get punished; the black people in America are getting punished for these cruel people’s protection.
Revised: Even if black people are seeing more of a growth mindset towards situations, this does not discount what needs to be done. Lukianoff and Haidt acknowledge a term called vindictive protectiveness, which means “The ultimate aim, it seems, is to turn campuses into “safe spaces” where young adults are shielded from words and ideas that make some uncomfortable. And more than the last, this movement seeks to punish anyone who interferes with that aim, even accidentally.” This term can be applied to the many people who are refusing the history of America and the history of black people in this country. The protection of the congress members’ insecurities in America of losing their insane amounts of privilege by becoming a more equal country is stopping the reparations from transpiring. The ones who are getting the punishment, are the ones who need the reparations. Like vindictive protectiveness says, the people who are not following and shielding truths get punished; the black people in America are getting punished for these cruel people’s protection. The straight-up denial of this countries past is horrifying and can be correlated to what Coates says – “An America that looks away is ignoring not just the sins of the past but the sins of the present and the certain sins of the future. More important than any single check cut to any African American, the payment of reparations would represent America’s maturation out of the childhood myth of its innocence into a wisdom worthy of its founders. (Coates)” The growth that America would show by taking on these preparations is immense. The money itself for the people who have gone through this tragedy would not be much, if anything at all, but learning and teaching our younger generations about this could provide the change needed for a better country.
Conclusion Draft: People in America need to protest and fight for the equality that this country prides itself in, but nothing has changed. White supremacy seems to still rule and those who are upholding are being protected. It is a sad truth to this country and even with the enormous amount of change that has occurred from slavery, there are still systemic issues that need to be resolved. These issues can’t be resolved with the people’s continuous backfire and our government to make a change.
Revision Draft: Why would we want to move forward and look at these reparations as a good thing? It shows growth within our country and stops the denial of the truth some be hiding from. The HR 40 Bill would be just a start to the reparations that need to be done, but a start that may promote more change. I am here to inform anyone who may not understand what white supremacy is and why it has been the root of many problems for minority groups. White supremacy seems to still rule and those who are upholding are being protected. It is a sad truth to this country and even with the enormous amount of change that has occurred from slavery, there are still systemic issues that need to be resolved. So, in saying that, there are more steps to be taken by anyone who cares in the slightest. People need to protest when they are being held around their areas. We cannot allow these minority groups to continue to die for our own countries systemic issues.
The HR 40 has a start to what could be done. The HR 40 bill is the “the Commission to Study Reparation Proposals for African Americans Act. (Coates)” This is just the thought of reparations, not the action until it is settled on what to do exactly. This is a fantastic idea; studying the idea of reparations towards black people could help build this country better and take responsibility for their actions.
Objection: One may argue this point, instead believing that the HR 40 is not the way to move forward. How could anyone know what these reparations may turn into. Instead of reparations, maybe restructuring the law enforcement and our own government could be an idea that would get rid of systemic problems. Reparations may not cover these problems and as said in by Coates, “Survivors of the Holocaust feared laundering the reputation of Germany with money, and mortgaging the memory of their dead” (Coates). A lot of people may hate the idea of money given to them for their dead relatives and you can’t blame them for that.
Additional comments: This paragraph could help me establish a different view in my paper that shows why some may not want the reparations.
- Draft: How can America ever make up for the betrayal of black lives? They have been enslaved, mistreated, and many other things since the beginning of this country’s time. The HR 40 has a start to what could be done. The HR 40 bill is the “the Commission to Study Reparation Proposals for African Americans Act. (Coates)” This is just the thought of reparations, not the action until it is settled on what to do exactly. This is a fantastic idea; studying the idea of reparations towards black people could help build this country better and take responsibility for their actions. But, as Coates explains in “The Case for Reparations”, “HR 40 has never…made it to the House floor suggests our concerns are rooted not in the impracticality of reparations but something more existential. (Coates)” What does this say about America? Our government is refusing the idea of restoring what has happened to black people in our own country. This is the definition of white supremacy being upheld in this country. There is nothing that can be done to be forgiven for all things done, but at least looking at how to begin, could be a good start for this country. This is not seen, sadly, and our country continues to be ignorant.
- Revised: How can America ever make up for the betrayal of black lives? They have been enslaved, mistreated by authority, looked at as lesser humans, and that is just a start to how black people have been mistreated in America. The HR 40 has a start to what could be done. The HR 40 bill is the “the Commission to Study Reparation Proposals for African Americans Act. (Coates)” This is just the thought of reparations, not the action until it is settled on what to do exactly. This is a fantastic idea; studying the idea of reparations towards black people could help build this country better and take responsibility for their actions. By accepting these reparations, we could pay those affected by slavery and much more, money that they deserve. This will never make up for what has been done, but it would be growth for America. Instead, as Coates explains in “The Case for Reparations”, “HR 40 has never…made it to the House floor suggests our concerns are rooted not in the impracticality of reparations but something more existential” (Coates). What does this say about America? Our government is refusing the idea of restoring what has happened to black people in our own country. This is the definition of white supremacy being upheld in this country. There is nothing that can be done to be forgiven for all things done, but at least looking at how to begin, could be a good start for this country. This is not seen, sadly, and our country continues to be ignorant.
- Draft: As we have seen that many in America have fixed mindsets, that does not mean that underprivileged black people show the same. For any given situation, black people have to work at least 2 times as hard to get the same credit. Coates uses a specific example that can be generalized to others. As we all know, Barack Obama was our first non-white president. Although he was the president, this doesn’t mean he already had the privilege or has as much privilege as others. The telling sign is the children of the Obamas vs. the Bushes. Coates explains “Whatever the Obama children achieve, it will be evidence of their family’s singular perseverance, not of broad equality.” The Obama’s have achieved everything by working a lot harder than everyone else. Yes, their children have more privilege than most, but not compared to the Bush children’s ongoing privilege. Even in the most respected position, the white privilege is obvious. We can relate this to how The Obama’s and many other minority families have a growth mindset. Not saying all, but a lot do because of all of the challenges faced. According to Dweck, a growth mindset is when people “understood that their abilities could be developed” (Dweck). This means that someone with a growth mindset won’t shy away from a challenge, but welcome it. To me, that’s exactly what the Obama’s did by becoming the first non-white people as the leaders of our country.
- Revised: As we have seen, many in America have fixed mindsets. which does not mean that underprivileged black people show the same. For any given situation, black people have to work at least 2 times as hard to get the same credit. Coates uses a specific example that can be generalized to others. As we all know, Barack Obama was our first non-white president. Although he was the president, this doesn’t mean he already had the privilege or has as much privilege as others. The telling sign is the children of the Obamas vs. the Bushes. Coates explains “Whatever the Obama children achieve, it will be evidence of their family’s singular perseverance, not of broad equality.” The Obama’s have achieved everything by working a lot harder than everyone else. Yes, their children have more privilege than most, but not compared to the Bush children’s ongoing privilege. Even in the most respected position, the white privilege is obvious. We can relate this to how The Obama’s and many other minority families have a growth mindset. Not saying all, but a lot do because of all of the challenges faced. According to Dweck, a growth mindset is when people “understood that their abilities could be developed” (Dweck). This means that someone with a growth mindset won’t shy away from a challenge, but welcome it. To me, that’s exactly what the Obama’s did by becoming the first non-white people as the leaders of our country. It is also what many black citizens have done in their lives even with all the odds against them. Even without a say, they have fought to have their minds heard and the progress has come a long way through the growth mindsets that they have shown.
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